June is Pride month, which brings me both joy and sadness. This June these feelings are stronger than ever because of the shameful government attacks on the trans community. I’m sharing my story to encourage everyone to participate in and celebrate Pride month. All our voices are needed to protect diversity and support the queer community.
Roots of my allyship
James* sat directly in front of me in our high school English class. He didn’t mind that I was a loner, as he was a bit of one too. We started to eat lunch together, and after a while we started to hang out outside of school. We weren’t dating, but we were best friends.
Gradually James and I found other friends, who coalesced into a loving group of social misfits. We spent evenings at the local art house cinema, where for two dollars we were treated to a double feature and where I was introduced to Trudeau, Kurosawa, and Fellini. We were regular participants at the midnight showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with James playing a stunning Frank-N-Furter.
Gradually our social circle extended across the bay to San Francisco, and into the cafes, clubs and discos that welcomed its large gay community. I became friends with refugees from Texas, Italy, Colombia, Thailand, and rural California, who were ecstatic to be allowed to be themselves; open, safe, and proud. But in quiet moments, they shared stories of what they had fled. The world outside our bubble was not a place where they could survive or thrive.
The highlight of our year was the June Pride parade. The Pride parade celebrates gay and queer rights and lives. It commemorates the June 1969 Stonewall Uprising that unleashed the gay liberation movement. Led by the Dykes on Bikes motorcycle group, followed by floats carrying drag queens and leathermen, accompanied by pulsing disco tunes, it is heaven.
AIDS
The 1980s crashed down. AIDS struck hard. Homophobia surged.
A once joyful community became somber and fearful. Misinformation and scapegoating abounded.
I keep a box of memories locked inside my brain. It hurts too much to revisit them, but sometimes they sneak out. Most are sad, but some make me angry. Memories of people who were blinded by prejudice and hatred.
In 1984 in the AIDS ward at San Francisco General Hospital I was visiting a dying friend. A nurse standing outside his room grabbed my arm and whispered that I would be “an idiot to go into the room with that f*g”.
Homophobia didn’t cause AIDS, but it made it much more difficult; harder to exist, harder to obtain treatment, harder to live and die with dignity.
Viruses don’t kill maliciously. HIV and COVID-19 killed millions of people and changed the trajectories of societies. But they didn’t do it with intent. Viruses are merely strands of nucleotides inside shells that occasionally, accidentally, mutate into a lethal form.
But people, people can be malicious. People can cause harm, and people can cause others to die. We all have a right to defend ourselves, but some people choose to harm others for profit, power, or prestige. We’re surrounded by growing intolerance and a repudiation of hard-won freedoms.
Forever Pride
I love the term “queer”. It’s inclusive and expansive and it has turned what was once used in hatred into an expression of pride. I love that ever-increasing numbers of people are proudly identifying as queer.
Let’s celebrate queer pride. Let’s celebrate that everyone can express their sexuality and their gender in a glorious rainbow of forms. Let’s show that we won’t accept a culture that tries to deny or delegitimize queer identities. Put up a flag, wear a pin, post a poster or sticker on your door or lab bench. If you can, attend a Pride parade and share the joy.
I’ve seen how quickly society can rise up against the queer community, and I see it happening now. Let’s put a stop this virulent hatred before it spreads.
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*Not his real name.
Note: Most of the staff at San Francisco General were magnificent – see The San Francisco model of AIDS care.
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